College : 12 days

So what can happen in the first 12 days of College??? A lot of things actually.
You might be the one who never wanted to be there. You might like the hostel or might not like it. You can take a junior as a senior or worse a senior as a junior.The girl you liked in the Orientation can leave for a better one or (worse) can be committed to a senior or is just someone who doesn't likes to be in a relationship(I know this seems naive ). In the Positive Interaction sessions you can fight with your seniors, laugh at a senior, can be laughed on, cry in front of them, punch a senior, get pissed off , file an official complaint or be friendly. And you can also be objectified as a loner, a stud, a thoughtful, a thoughtless, a despo, a pervert or just someone who adds fuck in the end of every sentence. You can start to like the place, hate the place , get depressed by it or get fucking overjoyed.  You might like the teachers or be like me who is typing away at 12:30 when the class is going on when my proxy has been done.

By the way ,this is what happened with the people I know.I like the place in a weird kind of way. I sometimes love it, sometimes I  hate it and sometimes I don't know what I feel. I have been said that I am taking it way too seriously.But that is how I am and I don't think I can change that.

I broke down yesterday night. It has been known to happen. That is the reason I am typing away like this after only 4 hours of sleep. I hope I can live with this place, moreover  I wish this place can live with me.  Listening to You and I with a borrowed apple headphone in the Complab has a joy of its own. I want to live with some joys of my own. That is what I expected of this place, and that is what it will give me. When you read the previous line, you might think that I am arrogant or something. But the lines of Shawshank Redemption come to my mind when I do,

Hope is a good thing....Maybe the best of things and no good thing ever dies.

 

Dropping for CLAT--- Part II (Before the Results)

CLAT paper messed with us,I know. They asked a few seemingly Static questions , which later on turned out to be part of the "Mainstream Media" thingy they had promised. (Courtesy to CG guy Asad )Yes,Legal has many not so reasoning questions and they asked Austins Law (Who the fuck is he?? ) and IPC (Many don't even know its full form) .

Anyway,it has passed. 8 days down the line the results are gonna be out. Some of us will make it to a top ranking NLU and some will opt for Symbiosis , Nirma (Not the washing powder,it is a College) or JGLS (The Fuckin rich guys,click on this. )

I'll have to confess...I had many stages after taking my CLAT exam.. 

On having a look at the paper. A question asked the "The ocean which is S shaped" 

I was like...

After coming out of the exam hall...I was enraged...I had read in LegallyIndia that experts set up the CLAT paper..And I was like...

This was the instant reaction. No one can blame me for this. They had seemingly changed the pattern. I was ready to file a PIL. For the mother of God, they even made a group to protest against it. Click here. 

Then I was  in the bus when it hit me. I did well in the paper. Then I was like.

This was the time when I got a call from Dushyant. 

"Hey,how did the paper go??"

"I did well.",I was sure about this.

"Yaar,everyone is saying that they will score above 150. How much do you think??"

"130 something",I was in shock. 

Then I had a change of mood. On the bus to Kanpur. In the night, philosophy got hold of me...

The SET paper had gone well. I am of the belief that I can do well in an interview. So can crack this shit. 

Then for all these days I have been ignorant about CLAT. Watching movies..Playing NFS....And doing all type of crap that one can do. But the reality is closing in. 

CLAT results are gonna be out. I don't know if I will make it to a top ranking NLU or not. (Or any NLU for that matter) .  

Now I am in full fledged sadness. Only a good result can cure it. 

What kind of Society do we live in??

“University bans Jeans for Girls : What kind of a society do we live in ??? ”

It was the headlines of the Newspaper. Still a few days were left for CLAT and I was not interested in reading anything. And frankly it was a topic which inherently bored me. Before even starting, I knew what all it would have. The backwardness of the society, the status which girls should receive and the falling child sex ratio. All of this would have been there, waiting for me to say… I KNEW IT!!!

It was just another headline I had read and ignored without even giving a mild thought. Then something happened.

 

After the CLAT debacle, I was handed over some responsibilities. One of which was to fetch milk everyday from the nearby “Chatta”(A farm of sorts where milking is done in front of you, which makes you believe  that the milk you are getting  is fuckin pure. )  I have to fetch milk for a nearby house as well.

As you can guess it is located in a nearby village. Our Doodhwaala(Milkman) is some kind of a stud. He wears a “Raybhaen” Glasses and a smile on his face. Both of his children, a girl and a boy, go to school. I couldn’t help but make the “Not Bad Obama face” when I noticed her girl, about my age, wearing  Jeans. Now you can judge me as a pervert who is looking for a chick in the village. But it is a hardcore village. You can see women walking in the middle of the road with their face covered with their “Pallu” which makes you wonder “How does she know where is the way?? :\”. And when you see a girl wearing Jeans , it makes you wonder.

If a place like this allows their girls to wear Jeans, what the hell is the problem with the University??

Then it was the second day of my trip to the “Chatta”. I knocked the door of the “Nearby house” to get the bucket.  A girl peeped from the first floor,”Bhaiya nahi deinge,Mummy gaanv gain hain!”(Won’t give the bucket today, mom has gone out to her village.)

I again completed the walk to the  milkman. He somehow got to know that I am gonna do “Law”. He has been embarrassing me by calling me “Vakeel Baabu”.

“Vakeel Baabu,bitiya ko B.A. karwaa rahein hain. Bank Clerk pass kar liya hai usne.”(Vakeel Baabu, she is gonna do B.A. She has passed Bank Clerical examination). That is something for a village. Where a working women is still a think of Social taboo,I had to congratulate him for this.

After talking to him and eating his “Besan ke Laddoo” (His daughter had got a job, he will celebrate!!) I went home. I told my mom all about the day. I also told her that the girl did not give the bucket for milk.

“Oh,I forgot to tell that. She won’t give it for two days.”

“Why?? ” was my quick counter question. I am bored after CLAT. Everything interests me,now.

“That women doesn’t gives milk to her girls,that’s why!!”,was my moms reply.

“Why??”,this time I was really interested.

“Her son has gone with her, She has left her two daughters at home. She didn’t open the door,did she??”

“How did you know??” was my immediate query.

“Her house is locked from outside. They would cook and eat for two days in the house. That is how I know. ”

“Why??”

“She is getting married against her will.”

“What?? Wouldn’t she be just 17 or something??”

“She is 18 according to the ‘Certificate’. ”

“Huh…”..From this incident yesterday, I am in shock.Seriously,what kind of a society do we live in??  

"My first vote"

"S.J Vidya Niketan"

That was what the board said..

The yellow peach like background and the black painted name reminded me of only one thing then. It was my school.The first one. It was 14 years back and I was still in Nursery then. I can remember being that underweight kid who loved the trouble of going to school everyday. I had enjoyed some great days in that place. Days that I won't come back again.

And here I was coming back to same place after so many years and trying to spot some difference. The children were (obviously)missing.Nothing much. A guard was discouraging anyone from stopping (near the booth)except the ones who had an intention to vote. A police van occupied the place where the school bus was. The exact same place. Many a guards stood there with a smile on their face and a huge gun in their hand. No kidding them.

I had a voter ID card and a booth slip in my pocket. Booth number 32 was what it said. My father had guided me distinctly,"Press the button till the beep sounded". And I was like,"Dad, I know!!".

The booth had considerable number of people out there. Many a lines were made and the polling officers were checking the card at every step. As a matter of fact I was told the location of my line by 5 men and a woman. The line was not long. Only 4-5 men were in front of me. It was 11 a.m. , so I was not surprised. Many more people will turn after 12. The interesting thing is that the line for Women was a lot longer than mine. And that is a positive thing!!

An old man was leading the line. He was frail,had grey hairs and was wearing a white dhoti which was not clean. He walked into the room. The polling officer checked his credentials.
"You have already cast your vote",he said.
"Nahiin(No)!!!", said the old man while showing his hands. "Dekho syaahi nahi hai(See,there is no ink)!!"
"But you have signed here. Have a look. It shows your signature."
"Hum to angootha lagaate hain(I am an illiterate)!!!"
"But that is not possible.",said the polling officer.

My turn had come by then. I walked in. The polling officer checked my credentials. He looked at me suspiciously after having a look at my ID. I walked on after having a look at the old man. He was still trying to figure out a way to  cast his vote. The guy marked an indelible ink on my forefinger.

I walked to the EVM. Two lines were there of buttons. I had to search for the candidate of my choice. I found it. A beep sounded as soon as I pressed it. "That was easy".

I am not gonna tell you to whom my vote went to. But the important thing is the old man didn't get to vote. He was sad. I don't know if he was a crook who had found a way to forge his card or someone else has cheated on him... I wish I knew. Because I see many people not voting just because they have nothing to worry about. They have good jobs and good money and they think that not voting is a thing to be proud of. (Believe me!! People are like this. A woman in my colony told my mom yesterday that she has left behind the 'trouble' of voting. She says this with a smile on her face. I have much more respect for that poor old man than I have for that considerably rich woman.)

I returned home with a blue ink on my finger that I unsuccessfully tried to rub off. I think it will stay.
(A thing that has to change in our society is that we have to realize that the voting day is not another holiday to stay with the family. It is an important day to determine who is gonna govern the place for the next five years. You have realize the importance because your one vote matters. You may not feel so,but it does.

As always every single political party is saying that they are  gonna win this election with an 'overwhelming majority'. I don't know about that. But I know one thing,"Presidents rule will come in UP if Congress doesn't wins this election"- Sriprakash Jaiswal(Union Coal minister).I will leave you with this thought. It sounds bogus though. )

"Visitors"

It is 11:57 AM when I start typing these words. The scheduled power cuts are from 12 AM to 3PM. And mind you I don't have a laptop. I use a Samsung Desktop PC(CRT screen) and a battery backup that is nonexistent. But still I am here. The reason is that I don't think it will happen today.

The reason is simple. Kanpur has got visitors. Mayawati behen is putting her revered foot on this land and is expected to read out a speech. The leader whose statue is set to be placed in the campus of IIT Kanpur is not expected to talk about any tech-savvy stuff. Insulting Congress Muslim quota stand is expected to be the main part of it. Although she will not take it too far because she is also in the same fray. To assure the voters that she has developed the state and more importantly...The City of Kanpur will also be the focus. With the dug up roads and sloshing corruption , she has a tough task ahead.

Our dear PM is also making his presence felt here. Ironically, he is starting his election campaign from the place which was ruined due to the economic reforms which he had himself planned.(For those who don't know Kanpur was once an Industrial town but today it is just has the name of it. The textile business which was a main part of it's legacy and was ruined due to the economic reforms that came in the year 1991. ) And thus he will talk about developing the place which he himself ruined. Jokes about who has made his speech today are already making rounds . He is not expected to touch the technical issues like Minority quota. It will be interesting to see, if he does. The Congress party wants to cash in on his clean image.

Kanpur is in for a ride today. The policemen will have a damn difficult task to contain the traffic in these beautifully dug up road.

  And if you are thinking if I am going to attend the JanSabha of any of these two leaders?? No is the answer. I prefer Television.

(I am waiting for the time when politicians really start discussing the issues of the people. I laughed my ass out recently ,while watching a television debate. The politician was explaining that his party has brought development to the place while siting an example of  constructing free shauchaalay(Toilets) in the constituency. Is the level of thinking so low here??? )

"Apna UP"

Yesterday, some of the friends of my mom were at home. The usual gossip was in full flow. I was sitting downstairs, away from the chitchat trying to concentrate on my studies.

Khat Khat Khat Khat.....


The immense noise on my house door startled me. I have two doors in my house (One for the entrance and the other for the Garage.) Both being banged at the same time. A case of moronic competence.

Hamaara Neta Wowo wow..wowo wowo Jaisa ho...was all I could hear.

Nothing was clear. If I had not experienced this before I would have thought that riots have broken out. Sharp cranking sounds of the metal was heard. (Drums have been banned by the Election commission so the parties are using different tricks. Use of plates with a spoon by some kids in the front row. They are disowned when the Election watchdog turns up).

I slowly moved to my gate where my mother along with her friends were already standing. Many local guys(read Party workers) were directing the entire crowd. On seeing the group of my mom the main women of the group approached us hurriedly.She carried a smile on her face.(I can't tell you how genuine it looked since her eyes were covered with black glasses.)She had a few kilograms of mala chocked around her neck and approached us with her hands folded in a namaste. She was Shikha Mishra(BSP Candidate). "Haanthi pe hi vote kijiyega. Hum bacchon ko naukari deinge"(That was referred to me. I think. :| .  I was the only one who fits the description. I was not recognized by her as a potential voter. She is not getting my vote. ) She said this in a matter of seconds. Then the whole kaafila moved on.

A sticker was stuck on my wall before I could object. Damn.

(This was rather dull. This form of advertisement. Radio is much more entertaining. The medium where all the political parties are throwing in their ads. "Aapka neta Ajay Kapoor Song" of Congress Party... "UP kaa aam aadmi" of BJP are some of the songs you can catch.

The ad campaign of the congress party rests on the self praising acumen combined with outright lies and the one by BJP rests on the sad state of the UP public which is also overstated. I don't know what the results will be. Everyone is so confident that they will bring in the government with a Poorn Bahumat. Let's see what happens.)

For all the Mahrajpur Seat Candidates click here.

Random Note. On the Tracks of Love.

It is raining right now. It has something in it  that makes me sad. I am never able to feel the fucking happiness that people talk about when it rains. Not anymore.

I want to dance in the first rain of the season. They say. But it has never happened with me. I don't even go out when it does. The noise of those weary drops irritates me sometimes and sometimes makes me feel sad when others stand with a smile on their face. It makes me remember of someone.

That is the problem with love. It ruins things. It makes you feel sad about stuff that you once loved. I have come to theorize about its reason. Why does it happen this way???

I have found the answer. And so have many others before me. It was always out there waiting to be discovered. But I was not looking at the right direction. Love is just like that unfaithful drug that is no longer available. But it was available for a long enough period to make you absolutely sick and then goes away leaving you wanting. You try everything you can but you are never the same one. Slowly and steadily you try to forget it. Your nerves start to grow numb and slowly you return to where you had started from but with a more horrible outlook.

You now don't feel happy at the end of the Maria Carey song ("We belong together") anymore.(When the girl elopes with a a guy in a car and leaves the groom dumbstruck.) You start cursing the guy in the car and you start correlating with the groom.

You no longer like hearing to "Hey Soul Sister". It makes you sad. You star the unusual obsession with "The Numb".."Crawling" and other Rock Crap. That is the changes love leaves. When it happens you are forever left with it's tracks in your life.

By leaving me you were able to leave with your presence but you were not able to remove your absence.
                                         

Rediscovery of love#6 : What is love??

Love is the most exhilarating feeling you can ever have. It's not just the mutual caring for each other. But is much more than that.  It is the time when you realize that your coming late to school is not just another thing that can happen everyday. You are met with a gaze and a smile when you do so. A gaze staring at the watch to show that you are late and a smile happy that you are there.

It is the time when you are given the extra lunch if you have carelessly forgotten to keep the Lunch box in your bag pack. You are scolded for being so careless and are you also meet a smiling face that says you are a "buddhu!!". And you smile back at that.And you like it.

It is the time when you can be found smiling anytime by your parents / friends / brother etc. On being found you come up with a lame excuse,"A joke just crossed my mind.". But a strange look still persists on their face. But you don't mind that.

Whenever the phone bell rings you are suddenly drawn into it. A feeling of happiness passes through you which you don't allow to come on your face. You pick up the phone and slide to the most remote corner of your place even when all you have to say is "OK. Bring the book I have asked you for."

After you have hung up you realize that something else was in you mind and you should have said but you didn't when you were on the call. And then you sit down to write what you had left out. You waste half an hour writing and deleting the message and at last you manage "Love you :)".

Well that is how love is. Stupid ain't it?? :)

Tanhaa reh gaya hoon..

unse mile the kai bar,
unhe ji bhar k jana tha,
apni mulakaton ki yadon me
main tanha reh gya hu..

hum unke liye kavitaen likha krte the,
un kavitaon k har kisse me ,
main tanha reh gya hu...

raaste chodhne chahe the unke liye,
unki raah me mudna tha,
aaj unhi rahon me,
main tanha reh gya hu...

lamhe kuch bitane the unke sath.
baten bhi kuch krni thi,
aaj unhi lamho ki baton me,
main tanha reh gya hu...

kuch khushiyan deni thi unhe,,
kuch unke gam bhi the batne,
kbhi unki khushiyon me,
kbi apne gam me,
main tanha reh gya hu,

ye jaan ibadat thi unki,
jindagi amant thi unki,
aaj karodon ki bheed me ,
main ,unki amanat tanha reh gya hu

Hans diyaa aaj yun hi..

Kabhi teri yaad mein roya bhi, jaaga bhi..
Kuch shabd bhi padhe tere jo tujhe ab yaad bhi nahi..
Wo baatein bhi suni jo tune kabhi thi kahi...
Par jaane kis yaad pe hans diya aaj yun hi..

Baaton ke shaamiyaane sajaaye the kabhi humne..
Kuch khushi ke, kuch gamon ke raag uthaaye the kabhi humne...
Aaaj un baaton ko bhool chuka hun main..Par,
Jaane kaise apni berukhi mein, Hans diya aaj yun hi..

Aaj teri yaad lekar baitha hun is mez par...
Kabhi tere chehre ki yaad aati hai..
Isiliye kuch khoobsoorat likhne ka aaj dil tha...
Aaj fir apni bevkoofi par hans diyaa aaj yun hi..

My One Vote!!

I am blogging after many days today. The intricacies of life had disallowed me to do this before. But I am here.A lot has changed from the time I had written my last blog. The Anna Movement which was full fledged then,has now slowed down and is reconciling it's strategy . But a bigger phenomenon is on.The Great Indian Elections that are the Yearly Business out here. They will decide the politics of the nation and how it stands for the coming years.

But UP elections is the one that has drawn my interest.I am voting for the first time,You cannot blame me for being curious.

 The elections out here are on the full fledge,as I type these words. Political parties are doing anything and everything to pull a few more votes to their  favour. From distributing Khichdi in the Hindu festival by the same name,to celebrating New Year with the 'beloved' masses. From the patriotic fervour that can be seen only in the polling season on 26th January.To bringing down the status of a great Technocrat to his mere caste. Everything has happened.

It was 18 December and Rahul Gandhi was in UP.He was attending a public Rally and spoke out the following words in the course of his small speech. After telling the achievements of Sam Pitroda.He said and I quote,"Jaante ho Sam Pitroda Kaun hai??"(Do you know who is Sam Pitroda??)..."Jaat jaante ho??? Vishwakarma!!"(Do you know his caste?? He is Vishwakarma!!)

I thought that was it!! The technocrat who is working in Kerala would be left in peace to continue doing  the great work that he is doing. But it came back 4 days ago(28 January 2012). Congress men were in Kanpur(UP) to release the party to release their VISION2020 Document for UP. He was there. He spoke of his caste(Which has nothing to do with his profound genius!) with a smile on his face. After so many years he became Satyanarayan Gangaram Pitroda again.

I had always heard of him as a technocrat. But that day he became just an object of appeal to be milked for voting on Caste lines. Congress General Secretary Rahul Gandhi is highly credited for this formula.My respect for Rahul Gandhi has just gone down.

He has been touted for long as being the voice of the Youth. Wikipedia tells me that he has studied in Rollins College & Trinity College , Cambridge. And I believe it.

But I have been expecting him to show a little more maturity in relation to the era he comes from. The majority of the so called Youth that I know and have known don't really give a F### about caste. We are smart people of this smart nation who is not ready to vote either on Caste or on Communal lines. All we want is efficient and futuristic leader who is not carrying the superfluous loads of the past. Clearly Mr. Gandhi you have lost by this parameter.

I don't know how the UP elections will turn out to be. But I know one thing that I am not voting for anyone who is trying to galvanize vote-share on Caste or Communal Lines. And so are the many people who are like me.

My request to anyone who is 18 or above and is reading this blog. Do vote. It is your right!!

( Bibliography:
Rahul Gandhi introduces this Gujarati as OBC mascot in UP rally 
Congress ropes in Sam Pitroda for Uttar Pradesh polls 
 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rahul_Gandhi  )

(Comments in this blog are not moderated. But the author retains the right to do so. The comments are the personal views of the one who comments..They don't in any way reflect the views of the author.)

Ek phool gira tha aangan mein... Aangan ko kosa kartein hain..

Ek phool gira tha aangan mein...
Aangan ko kosa kartein hain..
Ab gir hi pada,thaa pyaar mera..
Ab us gam ko dhoyaa kartein hain..

Yaad naa aai usko meri
Bas ye baat sataati hai dil ko..
Itne lamhe jo saat jiye,
Unko kaise bhula diya..??

Mujhko to hai tees badi..
Usko khone ka dard bada ...
Kyaa usko bhi,mujhko khone ka,
koi dard sunaai deta hai..??

Mujhko to dukh hai un baaton kaa..
Un dardon kaa,un yaadon kaa..
Kya usko bhi us khaamoshi ki,
koi cheekh sunai deti hai??

Ek phool gira thaa aangan mein..
Aur aaj bhi..Naa jaane kyun..
Aangan ko hi kosa kartein hain..

(This piece of poetry highlights the human nature of blaming trivial things for the loss.)

School Memoirs:Wo din the jo ab naa ayenge….

(For those who know how it is to miss school friends!! And how difficult/easy it is to have a reunion...)

Doston se milna ,vo jo roz ki baat thi….
Jab milte the tab khabar hi naa thi is haalat ki….
Ab to milne ke bahane talaashten h…..
Un dhundhli yadon ko aur taraashte h…..
Fb pe “will meet u guys!!” likhna to baat h roz ki…
Phir b dhundhte h samay ki taazgi…
Ab college ya coaching pe life dol ri h….
“select ho jaa beta!!! “ maa ye roz bol rhi h…
100 msg/day ki mandi h…..
Ab subah doston k “beep beep “ pe naa jane kaisi pabandi h….
Koi apne gf/bf pe ..to koi apni tanhai pe kayal h…
Ye ishq hi h…jispe apna har dost hi ghayal h…
Ab sab dekh rhe h sapne…sapno pe ab rok kahan????
Khush honge shayad tab bhi…khushiyon ka ye shok kahan???
Ab baat ayi h milne ki….dekho kaun kaun ata h….
“may k baad milna ab “ ye naara dekho kaun lagata h!!!

Rain...

It's raining...Let it rain all night...
Let the drops and the new day enter with a fight...
Let a new smile enter with this rain..
And let these running drops take away all the pain...
Let the love enter and just don't let it go...
It will be a new year my friends,Lets enter it with something new...
Lets enter it with a never ending smile...
And a zeal of courage that can take you the extra mile...
The level of dedication that has no end...
And the length of perseverence that can never be bent...
And all the dreams we had within our stare...
This is the day to say them...Else who will ever care...?? :D
(P.S:I wanted to end this with something beautiful...But couln't come up with anything...Happy New Year!!)

(Wrote this for my friends on FB.)

Ab kuch to badal raha hun main...

Aajkal neend bahut aati hai..
Shaayad kisi ka khwaab dikhaa jaati hai..
Par ab us khwaab  mein nahin kho raha hun main..
Ab kuch to badal raha hun main...

Abhi bhi oos gali se nikalta hun..
Shaayad kuch chaah judi hai usse..
Par ab us chaahat mein nahi kho raha hun main..
Ab kuch to badal raha hun main...

Ab teri yaad to aa hi jaati hai...
Kabhi mujhe bhi besudh kar jaati hai..
Par ab besudhi mein bhi jaagkar,so raha hun main..
Ab kuch to badal raha hun main..

Kabhi khushi bhi darwaaza khatkati hai...
Teri kami bhi usmein khoob sunaati hai..
Par ab us kami mein has kar ro raha hun main..
Ab kuch to badal raha hun main...

Kabhi dukh bhi aa hi jaata hai..
Aur kuch lamhe rosh ke suna hi jaata hai..
Par ab tere kaandhein par,rone ke lamhein kho raha hun main...
Ab kuch to badal raha hun main...

Kabhi tumhein bhi neend bahot aaye..
Aur koi gali ki raah machal jaaye..
Ya koi yaad aakar tumhein rula jaaye...
To tum bhi chali aana..
Aur aakar kuch  badal jaana...